I want a girl who talks like a lawyer,
I want a girl who looks like hell,
I want a girl who is humming with power
And barely imprisoned by the summoning spell
With black hair rising in a personal updraft,
With a cool demeanour and speech like a flame,
With a black leather folder, a thousand dollar ballpoint,
She is handing it to me, I am signing my name -
I want a girl with a short pitch for a looong

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I want a girl with the mark of the vampire (MARK OF THE VAMPIRE!)
I want a girl who can withstand the sun (WITHSTAND THE SUN!)
With a web of connections to dubious characters
Close-quarters training and an ultraviolet gun
With a ravenous appetite for the blood of the living
An active evil conscience that she has to suppress
She is hunting her brethren, the ancient progenitor,
She is hiding holy water underneath her party dress
I want a girl with a short fang and a long

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I want a girl with poor continuity,
I want a girl with disappearing scars,
With family she visits in thirty different graveyards
And a list of corrections she needs to make to the stars
Her eyes are discerning and photovoltaic
Her face is slightly different when she enters the room,
She's been gone for ten minutes -
She's been gone for a century -
She'll never make it home, but she will see you soon
I want a girl with a short haircut and a long

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I want a girl who knows all the vault codes,
I want a girl who saw me first,
I want a girl who has a dozen identities
Who will slip me her calling card in the bottom of my purse-
With fingers like lockpicks and a mind like a sapphire
Radiation lipstick and a smirk to cut glass
With a helicopter waiting for her backup escape plan
And a second helicopter for a second strafing pass
I want a girl with a short cape and a long,
Long crime spree

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violence, but like, by a pretty girl, also a song 

I want a girl with tungsten alloy plating!
I want a girl who has jets! Built! In!
She's collecting her bounty - she is crushing my windpipe -
She is gyro compensating for the planetary spin--

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I want a girl who is covered in sediment,
Who shrieks in infrasonic at the moment she kills,
With iridescent skin and seven rows of teeth
And paralytic venom she secretes from her gills

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I want a girl who's in Cybersecurity (CYBERSECURITY!)
I want a girl who wears full face masks (FULL! FACE! MASKS!)
Who's a ghost in the shadows, and an expert at arson,
And was home all day yesterday, if anybody asks,
I want a girl with a short fuse and a looong,
Long rap sheet

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I want a girl with paws like Nepeta
Who gives me attention, and asks for pats
She is changing her name from [CENSORED] to Rebecca
She is climbing in the cockpit of a battle-ready mecha

hi gentle reminder to cw your uspol

even if it''s a meme

just hit the cw button and type uspol, it's not hard

it's ironic that "this but unironically" is mostly used semi-ironically

complaining about music 

i don't even want to know what the song is actually named i just hate it

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complaining about music 

apple bottom jeans song is the most mind-numbing song in existence

i hate this


man it's wild that Ace Watkins won the iowa caucuses

us politics shitpost, gdq 

speedrunning the election by glitching the iowa app and wrong warping directly into the white house

what work thinks they’re paying me to do: software dev

what they’re actually paying me to do: gender shitposting

yes, wolfram alpha, it's not like i was going to say 208 volts, of course i meant 208,768,267 cheeseburgers

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